Parent Night
by pancakesandtables
Summary: parent teacher conferences are always fun


_**Parent Night**_

"This is my cubbie, this is where we hang our jackets, thats my hook, and that-is the _capatillar._ " Ty explained to the two women, who seemed to be utterly confused. Nat even looked slightly horrified when the six year old pointed up at the giant paper caterpillar that hung above all the children's cubbies.

"Ca _terpillar._ " Dom raised an eyebrow at him as she corrected him. Ty gave her a small smile and nodded his head.

"Yes! A capatillar!"

As she was about to correct him again, Nat placed a hand on her arm and shook her head.

The classroom was filled with the sounds of excited parents and children, running around with eager expressions on their faces. It was the time of year where the parents were invited to the school to see what their marvelous children had done so far in the year. For most parents this was an exciting day, filled with fun and excitement for all parties involved. That was a much different story for Ty. Nat and Dom were probably the last people to ever take him to a school event, much less tag along at one. Nat was either working or sleeping, and if Dom wanted to come into a school that was full of snobby, ignorant, horrible people, she had to go through the process of covering her spot and spraying herself tan-which was time consuming and not necessary. But Nat had the day off and had to cover up for an assignment she was doing so the circumstances worked out perfectly.

The two stood awkwardly to the side of a group of parents that were vaguely familiar since they all lived in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Unfortunately this is where you would find the most uptight people that ever existed on earth and their children were no different. Nevertheless; they were all standing there waiting for the same thing. A teacher conference.

Both Dom and Nat thought it was bullshit, Ty wasn't doing horribly in any subject so really there was no reason to have a 'conference' about him. _Unfortunately_ , the PTA was concerned with their lack of participation with most school events, thinking that it would ultimately affect Ty in the end. Not that any of it was their business.

It was Susan who ultimately pulled the two into conversation even though they were happily watching Ty color on things that were not supposed to be colored on.

"Should we stop him-"

Her high pitched voice rang out, sounding like the annoying ring of a fly that just wouldn't go away. Susan happened to live in the same apartment as the three of them, and always despised the fact the two lived together. She was always dropping not-so-subtle hints of homophobia and ignorance when they were at block parties or passed by one another on the stairs. To which of course-Dom, quite happily, corrected her.

The funny part was that they were _not_ a couple. Probably the furthest thing from one. They were just two women who lived together and also happened to be raising the same child with one another. Completely platonic.

"Oh everyone, I didn't even notice but- _these_ are Tyler's _mothers_." Susan explained as Dom and Nat were pulled into the circle of parents by Susan's bony and cold hand. The woman was the spitting image of a rich soccer mom who lived through her children's success. "They finally got the chance to make it tonight!"

Everyone gave awkward grins and mumbles of ' _oh that's great.' 'so glad you could come.' 'it's so wonderful to see new faces.'_

There was an obvious elephant in the room. Anyone could tell by the looks of these people they had been heavily sheltered as children. Fortunately, a tall man bearded man, wearing a business suit that was too tight for him, was generous enough to break the ice.

"Tyler's mothers? Our son told us he had two parents of the same-orientation. That must be such an _experience_. But it seems like for most of those relationships so many things could go wrong with the child being raised by...you know." The man's lips curled into the fakest smile a person could ever see. Another woman chimed into this very opinionated conversation. "Oh yes! Like what is it like raising a child without a father? Or dealing with the politics of it all? It just seems like...a lot of work. You don't want your child to only get one point of view you know."

Dom and Nat both almost choked at these comments, but held themselves together calmly. It was only 3PM, a bit early for destroying people's lives.

"Well, he's _very_ sensitive you know, being raised by two women. He can sense bullshit very quickly which I know is probably a skill most of your children lack. And-without a father? Well...he just doesn't have anyone to push him forward, you know? It's like nobody is there to help him with whatever us two women can't handle." She said with a mock sigh at the end, and without missing a beat Nat wrapped an arm around the merc's waist and nodded.

"Yes that's all true, but we're very proud of him still. Aren't we _honey?_ He pulls through. "

Dom nodded, speaking with a happy-go-lucky tone as Nat quite contently rested her head against the merc's shoulder.

"Oh yes we are. He's just _so_ accepting of our lifestyle, it's like his mind is...open to the things he sees in everyday life. I'm really astounded on how a _child_ is able to comprehend our homosexual behaviour." She chuckled, shaking her head slightly with a sigh. All the other parents didn't know how to react so of course they went with that plastered smile look in which you could almost see the fiery hell which laid beneath their eyes. The silence amongst them was tangible.

Dom draped an arm over the redhead's shoulder and shrugged. Nat spoke up in an attempt to not recapture the previous conversation, but to make this as uncomfortable as possible.

"It is just so nice to be in the presence of an accepting community isn't it darling?" Everyone around them smiled, giving light chuckles and brief nods of agreement.

"Mmm. That it is!" And with that final statement, Dom leaned down and passionately kissed her amour.

Over on the other side of the room all the kids were happily enjoying themselves. Ty was by himself, assembling a very articulate brachiosaurus out of lego pieces and lincoln logs. He was rudely interrupted by a shove to his shoulder. When he turned around he was greeted by three other boys. Jimmy, Max, and Oliver, who were probably the three biggest assholes in the class and were relentless when they picked on anyone, who was half the time Tyler.

"Go away." Tyler grumbled, turning back to what he was building.

"Dude, your mom's are...kissing." Max chimed up, causing Ty to look over his shoulder only to see Nat and Dom aggressively making out while surrounded by other parents who looked utterly mortified.

He stared for a moment before turning back around to what he thought was much more interesting; the dinosaur. "Well...they like each other so." He shrugged, digging through a pile of lego's to find the next piece. It wasn't that interesting to him. Dom, Nat, and Tweety were always making sexual comments. This was bound to happen sooner or later. For a moment the six year old turned back around to notice his three tormentors just staring. Ty quickly grabbed a coloring book off the table and used it to whack across their heads. "Quit it!" He glared, the three other kids walked off, muttering things about how stupid Tyler was, knowing they couldn't physically retaliate in the midst of adults.

" **Tyler Thurman!** " The teacher's voice rang out above all the noise and Nat and Dom finally parted from each other.

"Mmm. Well that's us." Dom said as Nat interlocked their fingers together, smirking while they walked in the direction of the teachers office.

Ty trailed behind them until they arrived at the circular conference table that was hidden away in the corner of the room away from all the commotion.

The teacher, who was named Mrs. Franklin, was probably in her mid thirties with long brunette hair that was usually pulled back in what looked like a ballerina bun. Her face was long and intimidating and her eyes were dark brown orbs that dug claws into you the minute you stood to face her. Or at least-that was what Ty thought of her.

"It's nice of you to finally show up at a school event, my name is Mrs. Franklin by the way and it is very nice to meet you both." The woman greeted politely as she took a seat opposite the three of them, though there was a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"I'm Natasha and this is my partner Dom." Nat stated with an equally annoyed voice.

The teacher nodded, avoiding eye contact with the two. "Um, right. Well I'd actually like to discuss some things that have been bothering me."

Ty looked up at her and tilted his head slightly. If this was about him why was she talking about things that were bothering _her?_

"Sure?" Dom said, crossing her legs over so that one of her knees has resting against Nat's.

Mrs. Franklin cleared her throat, her attention looking over at Ty who didn't seem to be paying much attention.

"Um your son seems to be demonstrating some odd behaviour. For example his language is-sometimes not appropriate. At all. Um, when we ask the children to color pictures of things around their house, he drew-well let me show you.." The woman leaned down next to her chair and pulled up a stack of papers. She pulled out four from the pile and placed them in front of the two of them. One picture was of a knife, one of a gun, one of a grenade painted like an easter egg, and another of different medical supplies.

"These are pretty good, kid." Dom smiled at Ty who leaned over to look at the one she picked up.

Mrs. Franklin looked appalled and Nat quickly began talking again, covering for Dom's lack of shock at seeing the pictures. "Well, we like him to feel like he can express himself freely, we really don't see the problem with-"

"He blew up one of the microwaves in the faculty room." The teacher cut the assassin off quickly, her words almost serving as a warning. "I know he did it on purpose."

Ty frowned and shook his head. "No I didn't! I didn't mean to!"

Dom looked over to Nat with a large smile on her face. "I wonder why that is? Blew it up you say? Wow." Natasha rolled her eyes and sighed, running a hand through her red hair.

"The point is I think you should be a bit more...watchful of him. The misbehavior has got to stop."

"Talk shit get hi-" Dom quickly interrupted Tyler before he could finish what he was about to say.

"Is that everything? I don't mean to seem rude but I have to work in about 12 hours and really need to take a nap to recover from all of **this**." Her voice was bitter, obviously tired of this woman who was quite frankly wasting everyone's time here.

"Um...well, his personal hygiene is the last thing. It's-becoming a cause for concern at this point." The woman said, looking over at Tyler who was standing by the door, ready to leave with a smile on his face. "I've had some smelly children before but...he's quite bad."

Dom suddenly sat back, turning to look at Nat who already had her face in her hands.

"He's the smelly kid in class? We let him become the smelly kid in class? What the hell is wrong with us…"

Nat had just about had it with the whole experience and finally stood up. "Thank you for...this. Me and my wife are happy to hear he's doing well and we look forward to coming back...sometime." _That was good wasn't it? That's what normal parent's say? Right?_ Nat shook her head again and waited for Dom to stand up.

"Yes this was _very_ informative." The merc said whilst snaking her hands to entwine with Nat's and giving her a quick kiss in which Mrs. Franklin looked disgusted by. They strode away from the table, hand in hand whilst Ty trailed happily behind them.

As the two past by the group of parents that had bombarded them with questions earlier, Dom stopped, leaning into Susan's ear to whisper,

"The sex is...beyond spectacular."

Susan stood there absolutely mortified.

When the two got to the door they could hear faint talks of, " _I can't believe they engage in activities like that."_ and " _Oh that poor child. He's going to grow up just like them."_ Ty giggled at all of the things they were saying. Apparently it was a big deal to them that Dommy and Natter had kissed but some of the things the other parents were saying about it were just too funny.

"Hey, Stinky, what are you doing? Let's go!" He heard Nat's voice ring out from the hallway which unfortunately forced him away from the conversation.

"They're talking about youuuu!" He continued laughing, running out to the car where the two were now standing, Nat trying to help get the makeup off that was covering Dom's famous spot with a baby wipe.

"That was amazing. Why don't we do that more often?"

"Because we're not together." Nat replied dully. Dom rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around Nat's waist. "Really? I think we'd be a cute couple. All those bigots seemed to enjoy it. Two femme fatales." Nat pulled away once she had removed the makeup from the merc's eye and unlocked the car, lifting Ty into the backseat.

"That was a one time thing, Thurman."

"Mmmmhmmm." Dom smirked as she slid into the passenger seat, kicking her feet up on the dash.

"Sure it was."


End file.
